Think back to the last time you went to a restaurant, did you select what you really wanted or were you swayed by what other people were ordering, by the pricing of certain dishes, or by what you thought would be the healthiest selection?
None of these methods are necessarily a bad way to make a decision. Sometimes they are the correct choice to make if you are being introduced to a new style of cuisine, or if you are sticking to a food plan or budget. However, sometimes the choices we make are more or a reflection of what is comfortable and easy, instead of from knowing what our true desire might be in that moment.
When was the last time you stopped to ask yourself, “What do I want?” and then paused long enough to really listen for the answer?
A keenly alive time, of discovering what I truly wanted, was in the months following my divorce. As I adjusted to living by myself, it was the first time in 14 years I had only to think about me and what my preferences were moment to moment. Initially, I had no effing clue – I felt so dead inside. Had you asked the question, I would have told you I just wanted my life back.
However, since a magical return to my old life wasn’t possible, I decided I’d better get busy designing a thriving solo life. To do that I needed to wake myself up and discover what my heart truly desired. I was so rusty playing this game I needed to practice with easy things, like what to eat for breakfast. I eventually graduated to bigger decisions like where to go on vacation (Miami, Florida; Medellin, Colombia; Tulum, Mexico). A big heart’s desire move was to realize how much I loved road biking and needed that type of physical activity to feel strong and vibrant. After enough heart’s desire practice, I was finally in touch with what it felt like to be alive, thriving and whole; I could begin crafting long-range plans.
Asking, Listening, and Getting Unstuck:
Crafting meaningful and purposeful intentions for 2015 (and beyond) begins with asking – what do I want; what is my heart’s desire? – And then, getting quiet so you can listen for the response.
Creating a thriving life begins with knowing your preferences, embracing them, and figuring out how to have more of those aspects in your experience.
And yet, sometimes we get stuck or blocked; we allow confusion to cloud our desires; we don’t give ourselves permission to explore.
8 Ways to Discover Your Heart’s Desires:
Get Clear on Your Values. Do you value: health, generosity, achievement, control, friendship, connection, humor, kindness, independence, creativity, determination, success, recognition, organization, confidence, boldness, peace, warmth, strength and the list goes on, and on. What is it you love to do? These activities are clues to what you value. Understanding what values you hold dear is key to setting authentic intentions.
Get Present, Now. What do you want now? Authentic desires are felt in the present moment and reflect your most immediate needs and concerns, not always in some faraway and distant future. If you don’t know what you want, perhaps you are focusing too far into the future, racing too far ahead and overlooking the obvious needs and desires you have right now.
Give Yourself a Dose of Self-Care. Self-care is a way to jump-start figuring out what you really desire. Exhaustion and depression deaden your ability to be in touch with what you really want (or need). So give yourself the gift of a nap. Give yourself the gift of moving and energizing your body by going on a walk, hike, or run. Do some gentle yoga stretches, or schedule a rejuvenating massage. Once you are refreshed, you can begin exploring your heart’s desire.
Identify the Proper Order of Things. If you are struggling with connecting to your heart’s desire, even though you are certain it is what you want, be sure you are not overlooking anything more immediately in need of your focus, attention and care. Maybe you want to start your own business: perhaps the proper order, for you, instead of jumping in feet first, is to amass a rainy day fund to help protect you from some of the risks of striking out on your own. What feels like “stalling” or “stuck” may simply be your intuition directing you to laying a stronger foundation for your heart’s desire.
Embrace Your Creative Power. Recognize you are a creative, divine creator. Already you’ve created many miracles in your life; however, if your life conditions aren’t satisfying, then decide to create something else. I clung to this thought as I redesigned my life from the ashes of infertility and divorce. I still ask myself: What if my Best, Ideal Self, my Essence, my true Soul did the creating – what would it want for me right now, in this situation, what does it want for my future self?
Drop the “Shoulds”. A key place we get stuck is thinking we “should” be further along in our life: more successful, more consciously aware, more spiritual – whatever. “Should” desires are an attempt to live up to other people’s notion of what is respectable. A shift in perspective is a great way to transform a “should” like paying bills on time, getting a project done, holding down a steady job. When these types of “shoulds” are linked to our values – responsibility, organization, providing for our family – then these activities reflect the best of us.
Drop the Attachment to Your Fears. As you enter into your creative journey you’ll want to leave behind assumptions of how “things are supposed to be” and embrace a little more of the unknown. After all, what if IT turns out; what if IT is fun? Wanting the promise of a certain outcome, or avoiding disappointment, means you limit what you may dream about, and in turn, diminish what you get.
Focus on Your Contribution. If you believe your heart’s desires will bring value to those around you, it is easier to feel connected to what it is you truly want to create. You give yourself permission to have a bigger purpose, and big WHY pulling you forward.
If you can sense and feel a deep desire to express your creativity, to share your love, to contribute your best to the world, then you are well on your way to creating purposeful, meaningful intentions. This is what will guide you towards living YOUR thriving life: your true source of happiness.
If you would like to explore your heart’s desires, then I would be happy to be your thought-partner.
Let’s boost your sense of contentment and satisfaction with a FREE coaching session.
Give yourself the gift of space and time to reflect. You can, of course, do this on your own some rainy afternoon, sitting with your journal.
And, the reality is, we very rarely give ourselves this time and space. Contact me today, your freedom to be YOU is waiting.
And, hey! Please don’t be shy about downloading this GIFT for you, a set of resources designed to help boost your happiness and resilience!
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