Recently, the previously unthinkable happened to friends of mine: Their nearly 30-year-old son suddenly and unexpectedly died. My guy and I stopped by their home a few days later to offer comfort and support. I found myself feeling a bit nervous as we drove down their street and got out of the car. Jason echoed my feelings when he turned to me and said, “I don’t know what to say.” I realized my own nervousness, like his, stemmed from not wanting to do or say something stupid. It was with a rush of relief that I replied, “We don’t need to say anything; all we need to do is listen.”
Comfort, not Platitudes.
I knew I didn’t want to offer a comment like: “It’s part of God’s divine plan.” “It was meant to be.” “There’s no way out except through.” “I can’t imagine what you must be going through.”
I’ve been the recipient of such words. They rang hollow in my ears and provided cold comfort to my broken heart. Truthfully, I know I’ve spoken platitudes, cringing as they left my lips to land leaden in the lap of the person I was wishing to support.
We want to receive BETTER in our times of sorrow. We want to give MORE when it is our time to support. So, why do we offer platitudes? [Read more…]